Tuesday, March 24, 2009

South Logan County Health Unit...It's a long post, but worth it...

Well, well, well...

It just so happens that the Logan County Health Dept. is just as questionable as the Sebastian County Health Dept.

I have finally finished all of the necessities in getting Braden prepped for early kindergarten enrollment in April. The last step was taken care of today in Booneville, AR. For any of you who are not familiar with our illustrious health dept. in Fort Smith, it's nearly impossible to get an appointment within a decent time frame, much less actually be provided service within three hours of said scheduled appointment. And it's gross...you all ARE familiar with my phobia of "public" places. Check that...public government sponsored places. Anyway, thanks to a tip from Michael and MaryKate, we learned that the Logan County health dept. is a pretty sure bet for a short wait in a non-crowded waiting room...good thing 'cause it was TINY!

So, the boys and I packed up in the gas-guzzler (AKA Tahoe) and trekked on down to Booneville, location of said health department. Upon arrival to the town I've been to (according to Eric) but don't remember (according to me), I was immediately lost! And, Garrett kept asking me if I was lost...I just admitted that I was and kept driving. The directions on the internet specifically said this place was at the corner of Center and First Streets. So, that's where I went. Know what I found??????? A dead-end road and a trash dump, or a salvage yard...what's the difference, really? SSSSOOOOO....I kept driving, thinking that perhaps I had made a right when I should have made a left, but no. In desperation, I called Eric for the address ("Didn't you check before you left?"). Yes, I checked. I asked Eric for the number, called while frantically staring back at the questionable-looking chaps sitting on a sagging front porch, and it turned out that the address on the internet was wrong!

I was feeling pretty confident when FINALLY I saw the sign for the South Logan County Health Unit...until I saw the house sitting across the street from it with the man who resembled a character from Deliverance sitting out front...amoung his collection of trash and various small farm animals. Creepy. I rushed the children inside, only to find a caucasian female yelling (really, yelling) at her FOUR stair-stepped children! I immediatel nicknamed her "Babymaker" in my mind...saving details for this blog, you know. While I checked in for Braden's immunizations, Babymaker continued her rant to the point that my own sweet babies huddled around my legs, which they seemed to be using as sheilds from the vile rant going on right before their innocent little eyes. Just when I thought I had seen the worst of it, her neighbor (for real, next door neighbor) comes in with a little one on her hip. They talk, chat, laugh...and then Babymaker's boyfriend calls her on the cell phone. Yep, the same cell phone that's supposed to be silenced due to the fact that we happened to be in a public domain. I'm not familiar with the ring tone, but I know for a certainty it had the word "freak" in it...nice. In said phone conversation, Babymaker mentions to Boyfriend the child who is at school who needs to be picked up and brought over. Swear...she's got five kids, one little stair step after the other! ARGH!

At the point of phone disconnect, Neighborlady pipes up about whether or not Boyfriend will be bringing child #5. This is when I decided to really take a good look at Neighborlady...wish I hadn't. Popbottle glasses from the eighties, yellowish teeth, mustache, pink tanktop over flabby arms, and , get this, hair that I promise had not been combed in at least two to three days. It was short and going EV-ER-Y-WHERE!...and not in a cool, punky, chic kind of way either. So, she noticed me looking and I quickly averted my gaze to my two munchkins who decided they HAD to go to the bathroom. Of corurse they did...a bathroom they hadn't been to. It was just too tempting.

So, I got up to reign in the boys when the nurse called for us. Babymaker says, "Ma'am...they're calling you ma'am." Now, this made me very uncomfortable. She was calling me "ma'am" and I had only just arrived, was being seen, and she had been there God only knows how long wrestling her herd of babies. How did that even happen? She should have been first! I guess it takes less time to round up shots for one than it does for five? Whatever the reason, I got that look again...just like at the social security office...like I had no business there because I combed my hair and tucked in my shirt tail! I hate that feeling of reverse descrimination. It could just be me, but maybe not.

At the very least, twenty minutes, arrived and gone, few tears, and one big boy who was so brave he earned McDonald's for lunch! And, I let the boys play for nearly two hours there...it was pouring rain, what else was I going to do? :0) So, we're now officially ready for kindergarten enrollment and I simply can't believe the time has come. WOW!

Post script:
Garrett expounded all the way home from Booneville on his entire plan for avoiding the last round of immunizations he's due next year before enrolling for kindergarten himself in 2010. He was so glad to hear from the nurse it wasn't his turn today, but literally gave her a go to you-know-where look when she mentioned he'd have to go through it all next year!


Mary Kate said...

you are too funny!! glad you don't have to go back there until next year!!! we have to go back in less than a month!!!

Our Blessed Family said...

Hey now, watch it.... I was born and raised in Booneville!